It's time to restore some balance to Annie's clearly fictionalized accounts of the very first week or so.. She doesn't even know half of the stories. I mean, she knows the half that everyone would describe as "important," like her posts where she's like "Hey everyone, we visited some world famous location and it was so awesome! Let me tell you about it in excellent detail so if anyone else writes about it, particularly one of my brothers, their account will seem inferior and you will stop acknowledging them as family before long and I can have their possessions when they are gone!" Sly try, Annie, but as you should well know I won't give up my lucky machete and my favorite gym sock quite so easily.
Thus, I will mainly be adding commentary on things that already done been mentioned here in the blog and then writing about others that are more of my own stuff. There will be verbose descriptions, you have been forewarned.
Nabi Samwil overlook field trip: Annie forgot to mention that there were fig trees at this place. I picked a few and ate them while we were listening to the teacher talk about the site. They were way better than the several pounds of fresh figs I had purchased inside one of the city gates the day before--which all began spoiling overnight--which didn't stop me from eating almost all of them--which brings me to another point--fresh figs aren't very good. The people inside by the spot that is traditionally regarded as the prophet Samuel's cenotaph (empty grave) was really nice to see. The people watching over it were very kind.
The building itself was not in good shape--the top of it is a mosque, the bottom a synagogue, but as Palestinian access has been restricted it has fallen into disrepair and it has been claimed by a sinister force I have faced before. I refer to the second most evil of global avian hegemons(we learned this word in class and I am not sure what it means. Either cultural monarchy or artichokes), the Pigeon King/Evil Pigeon Overlord. His forces once took me captive in Paraguay. If you don't remember how that went down, check it out here:http://
Bethelehem overlook--
It was cool to look out and see Bethlehem. By the way, the hymn "Far, Far Away on Judea's Plain" isn't quite accurate. It's all a bunch of steep hills and valleys. That's OK, though. And I was, in fact, attacked by a dust devil. I and the professors were all just minding our own business when one of the members of our group pointed north and screamed. I looked and had difficulty figuring out exactly what I was seeing before it was upon us. Dust, leaves and insects blasted through the air for all of two seconds before it had passed us. I spun and saw the dust devil stopped behind me, seemingly taunting me and inviting me to battle it as its smoky form coalesced into tangible existence. I have been chasing after these things for years, and I wasted no time in throwing myself into it and using the first thing that came to my head (literally) as a weapon. I thrust my trusty black sombrero into its core. It spasmed violently and then exploded, its defeated remnants floating away harmlessly. Unfortunately, the entire other class looking on from a distance didn't see this battle in such an epic fashion as I remember it. Their teacher merely paused, told his class to turn around and jokingly said "Looks like that group has made the Lord angry." The aftermath wasn't so bad, besides the grit in our hair, the burrs attached to our bodies and the spider we picked off one of the girls.
It was cool to look out and see Bethlehem. By the way, the hymn "Far, Far Away on Judea's Plain" isn't quite accurate. It's all a bunch of steep hills and valleys. That's OK, though. And I was, in fact, attacked by a dust devil. I and the professors were all just minding our own business when one of the members of our group pointed north and screamed. I looked and had difficulty figuring out exactly what I was seeing before it was upon us. Dust, leaves and insects blasted through the air for all of two seconds before it had passed us. I spun and saw the dust devil stopped behind me, seemingly taunting me and inviting me to battle it as its smoky form coalesced into tangible existence. I have been chasing after these things for years, and I wasted no time in throwing myself into it and using the first thing that came to my head (literally) as a weapon. I thrust my trusty black sombrero into its core. It spasmed violently and then exploded, its defeated remnants floating away harmlessly. Unfortunately, the entire other class looking on from a distance didn't see this battle in such an epic fashion as I remember it. Their teacher merely paused, told his class to turn around and jokingly said "Looks like that group has made the Lord angry." The aftermath wasn't so bad, besides the grit in our hair, the burrs attached to our bodies and the spider we picked off one of the girls.
Tel Aviv--Surfing was a lot of fun. I even got up once, which was harder than last time I went since the board was quite a bit smaller. There were some big waves where I wiped out. Now I know what the rinse and spin cycle of a washing machine feels like. The rest of the city was interesting, we found a quirky market where a lady was selling what was surely one of the first telephones ever manufactured, and others selling things like fryer baskets. Definitely not the tourist part of the city. There were a lot of strange animal murals everywhere. There were three bears, a creepy rabbit painted on a dumpster, and a two headed rabbit that looked like it was investing in the oil business or something.
Weird happenings besides the dust devil---I accidentally nearly ingested a bee during lunch. It let me know with a subtle "HEY BUDDY I"M WALKIN' HERE" sting to my lip. It was a small bee and a small sting. It was almost kind of lemony.
I was buying fruit in a market when a massive package of diapers fell past my head. The guy yelled sorry from the rafters above, and I was like "No worries, bro. Not like they were loaded!"
Barfing-- it is kinda like Annie told it. I was talking to some girls about eating bugs and the time I regretted not eating a cicada in Paraguay (a story for another time) and I talked about some roasted coconut grubs I had eaten in Paraguay. I was saying how it was a lot like bacon, and then she said how we could market the stuff--get little yellow tubs of it labeled "I Can't Believe It's Not Bacon!" As she said this, I was drinking water and I laughed. I choked on the water, spat a bunch on the floor, laughed and choked more--which activated my seldom-used gag reflex. It's been about six years since the last incident, folks, but I knew what I felt. I surged to my feet and looked for a trash can--nothing! I burst out of the room, and ran into the computer lab. Nothing! I glanced at the nearby drinking fountain, shook my head, and knew it was already too late. I quickly pulled up my orange button-down shirt to my forehead and let fly. WHOOOOSH! As soon as my airway was clear, I couldn't help but laugh maniacally at the clearly hilarious situation. I began walking down the stairs to my room so I could get rid of--I looked at it. Funny, I didn't remember eating chicken salad with carrots. Anyways, at this time Annie's account does in fact suffice."On his way down some girls were like hey Neil what's in your shirt and he was like you don't want to know and they were like um actually yes we do and he was like no really you don't and they were like YES WE DO and he was like FINE and then they got a peek and skiddaddled really fast. And then Neil took a shower. The end."
And that's the end of this. For now.
