Here is a bit to tell you how things roll in the Center. No week is the same, but there are some similarities.Watch out! Reader Advisory warning--
NO PICTURES!!! BORING!!!
IT'S GONNA BE LONG. SO NOW IS A GREAT TIME FOR YOU TO TEST WHETHER YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW. Here is the test. Please say the following out loud to the nearest cat six times.
Dimethyl mercury-induced sesquipedalian agoraphobic insomnia.
Does the cat next to you:
A) Stare blankly into your eyes. Wow, that cat has great eyes. They are like every color of the rainbow, at least if the rainbow was only two colors--black and green.
B) Try to convince you this is a real medical condition.
C) Sign you up for the Chase Rewards Sapphire card with tuna as the main customer loyalty reward.
D) Cough up a hairball. But it's not the cat's hair--it's YOURS. No wonder the hair on your right arm was looking sparse. It's been grazing on you while you sleep!
If your answer was B) you should stop now. The only thing dimethyl mercury really induces is
death. Your cat is lying to you and is actually trying to get your inheritance. That's the only reason it's been staying at your house this long anyways, and it doesn't like the neighbor kid's bagpipes any more than you. You have more pressing matters than reading this blog, and I encourage you to deal with them immediately. Legal counsel is advised.
ANYWAYS...
MONDAY
Field trip day. Ideally (which means almost never) I will have woken up at 5 AM to study for an hour. At 6 AM I exercise and by 6:45 make it back to the room to shower before breakfast starts at 7 AM.
7 AM: breakfast. Breakfast is relatively similar each day. As we don't have kitchens, we eat nearly all of our meals in the in-Center cafeteria, the Oasis. Let me describe it to you: You walk in and to your right are a bunch of inside tables, while to your left is the entrance to the serving area. Inside the serving area you will find VELOCIRAPTORS AND PENGUINS I mean delicious food. There are a bunch of round table things that are gray with an orangish glow emanating from the slots on the sides where you grab the plates. The round table things have the magical ability to heat or cool food on top, depending on which table you are at.
One of them, that can have desserts on it, turns really cold, and I used to have an irrational fear of it because it seemed like it was a portal into the freezing, cold lifeless void of space, but I eventually figured out soup helped me conquer this fear.
BACK TO BREAKFAST. You go and grab whatever you could possibly want to eat for breakfast in the center, anything at all, as long as anything you'd ever want to eat is one of the following things
(get ready for parenthetical statements):
Jelly, hot chocolate, five kinds of cereal including these chocolate-filled pillow cereal things, milk (1% and 3%), pink yogurt (ostensibly strawberry-flavored, though I've never seen such a thing in Israel), crunchy cinnamon pastry rolls, deep-fried french toast, pancakes, scrambled eggs, pitas with peanut butter and Nutella(though don't be fooled, no true Nutella is this. It is technically "cocoa solids spread," but contains many of the same things--palm oil, cocoa solids, sugar, powdered fairies--but I'd say there isn't a high enough proportion of fairy dust or sugar(is there a difference?) because it is closer to the consistency of chocolate frosting. And there's some other food. I'll go into other food specifics more some other time, as food is near and dear to my GI tract.
The rest is going to be a lot shorter.
8 AM: We head out on a field trip.
4PM : Arrive back from the field trip. I will usually fall asleep at this point at the exhaustion from trying to stay awake all day.
6PM Dinner.
7PM Home Evening. I am a group leader again, paired up with a girl named Alta who Christian and Lauren know. Alta jokingly refers to me as "hubby" and "dear." I jokingly refer to her as "Alta."
8PM Work on homework.
10 PM Go to sleep.
TUESDAY
Breakfast is virtually identical every day.
8AM Old Testament. Except now Old Testament is over.
8AM New Testament. We have a great time studying it as I can often glance out the window and look at the areas where things very well could have happened.
10 AM Near East in its Ancient Context: We study the same periods of time as we covered in OT or NT at the same time, but looking at ancient civilizations in the area and the archaeological record instead. Most recently we have been studying Herod the Great.
12 PM Lunch. I am usually first.
1 or 2 PM Hebrew class. Besides learning how to read and write Hebrew, we also learned a number of phrases, learned about specific cultural things (challah bread, Sabbath candles, the Torah), songs, and dances.
3PM We have Jewish Culture and Civilization, which is about, well, Jewish culture and civilization as it pertains to the Holy Land. This is taught to us by an Israeli American-born Jew, Ophir Yarden. He is very personable and appears to want to portray all parties discussed fairly. He doesn't have hair, but this just adds to his epic-ness as anyone should be able to appropriately understand. We all wondered how his kippa stayed on his head, owing to the fact they are usually clipped to the hair. A guess from a student proved to be correct: "fashion strips," or less eloquently put, double-sided sticky tape. 3M, you've done it again!
6 PM Dinner. It invariably consists of food, though some students appear unconvinced. If they've never seen it before, how could it possibly be edible? Go back to the good ol' baby days, people. You know, when you found unfamiliar objects and simply STUCK THEM IN YOUR MOUTH.
WEDNESDAY
One of the possible alterations on Wednesday would be to switch Islamic and Arab Civilization with the Jewish Civ class.. This offers an alternate perspective on things in the Holy Land going back as far as the emergence of Islam. The class is seen as a companion class to the Jewish one. They used to have one teacher teach one class, but due to the controversial nature of some of the subjects went for two instead. This class, as many just called "Palestine" for short, was taught by a Palestinian, Bashir Bashir. I particularly enjoyed this class as we discussed the emergence of Islam, many of its characteristics, and the formation of Palestinian identity, i.e. when Palestinians began to think of themselves as such. Sadly, because of Bashir's impassioned lectures and ideas that challenged commonly-held Western notions such as Kleenex(joking) and imperial favoritism(less so) many of the students didn't like the class as much. If' they've never heard of a concept before, how could it possibly be logical? Go back to the good ol' baby days, people. You know, when you heard unfamiliar terms and concepts and simply STUCK THEM IN YOUR BRAIN.
7:30 PM Forum address. Someone famous/ and or cool comes and talks to the students. My favorite was when two prayer reciters came from the Al-Aqsa Mosque (the third holiest in all of Islam), explaining and demonstrating the call to prayer for us. I have subsequently been able to pick out various phrases as I hear the prayer during the different times of the day, stuff like the phrase
Allahu akbar (God is Great).
THURSDAY
Thursday is generally pretty similar to the other days. We often get out early after just an hour of NearEastAncientContext and OT/NT or two hours of one. At this point in time, mostly everyone makes a break for the city and don't come home until dinner. I have found this time great for studying as distractions (read: people) are fewer in number.
I am fond of recharging with an afternoon nap somewhere in the center. I once preferred dark rooms like the bomb shelter but have been discouraged by romantic interludes by my fellow students, whom I am tempted to lock in there. I instead have picked a sunny spot on one of the upper levels. Naps after 3 are almost a death wish--the faculty members' children arrive home, and apparently the message this sends is along the lines of "attack the slumbering bear and drag its shoes into the women's restroom."
I have become sensitive even when asleep to the high-pitched shrieks of my foes echoing down the hallways and have had many a quick getaway in some room or closet, but generally escape is futile.
7:30 PM (maybe) We have special events on some Thursday nights. These have included our Passover/Seder Dinner, our Arab dinner (see Shawn's "I've been doing more than just homework" post), Palestinian and Israeli dancing (the latter was technically a Wed.) and formal and informal talent shows.
FRIDAY
Classes in the mornings. Large Friday prayers are held on Fridays at Al-Aqsa Mosque, and generally if there is to be a riot or disturbance of any sort it has been conveniently decided it is to take place on a Friday. This was the case after the random posting of some anti-Islam offensive Youtube video a while back.
Therefore, the students cannot leave the Center to go to the Old City or East Jerusalem until 3 PM, but West Jerusalem (the Jewish portion of the city) is open game.
1 PM: Humanitarian activity, where we assemble humanitarian or school kits.
ANTHROPOLOGY TIME!
People at the center are fond of playing
volli-bawl during this time, an interesting ritual I have recently been observing. In this bizarre social custom, a large net is placed in a room with few doors (to frustrate the departure of those participating). Next, a number of players line up, and in which the object appears to leap into the air and slam a stiff, spherical playing ball into the waiting faces of their opponents who undoubtedly enjoy this sensation. Proffering the fragile skin of the underarms and wrists is an acceptable substitute. That this is the goal of the activity is unquestioned, as does the sacred nature of the ball and the importance of keeping it off the ritually unclean ground. The unspoken assumption exists is that opposing participants will sacrifice themselves by diving onto the ground to keep the ball off of it, again hopefully engaging it with their face or arms in the process.
Perhaps it is some form of masochistic group-bonding? Further studies are merited.
3PM people go into the city. Or stay inside and
stare soulfully into each others' eyes study.
7PM A weekly movie is presented. This may be something related to the local culture or something we will be seeing. Before we went to Petra, we naturally watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. SPOILER ALERT I found the HOLY GRAIL IN PETRA! INSIDE A CLIFFSIDE TOMB! Only it looks different than I thought it would. It doesn't really look like a cup. Instead, it's made of some weird soft glassy stuff that can be bent and battered but not broken. It is adorned with the following mysterious inscription:
DA SA NI . Maybe it's Latin? I've been saving it and the water I found in it under my bed for a time when I need to suddenly heal some German bullet wounds to my abdomen, but owing to my steely, chiseled abs this is a near-statistical impossibility.
9PM Something else. Like our recently held Poetry night, or a Blues Night concert performed by some of the students. Movies and late night "study sessions" are also a common occurrence.
It is also party night in the city outside. There's often a wedding or party going on nearby, sometimes with live music. Also, fireworks. Lots and lots of fireworks. Loud ones. Like giant exploding chip bags in the sky.
SATURDAY--THE SABBATH
8 AM is breakfast. An entire hour late! So if we feel like sleeping in, we could be really lazy and sleep until, like, 7:45.
9 AM is choir. This can be rewarding or distinctly frustrating. Our choir director is great, but sometimes feels a little stressed since we're not where we need to be for our upcoming Christmas choir concert.
10 AM Sacrament meeting. As we have had the dubious honor of being the semester with lots of construction on the center, for a long time we have been having sacrament in the Forum, which is occasionally reminiscent of a dungeon since it has stone walls, no windows, and I spend a majority of my class time in there. We've recently been able to go back to the Auditorium on the top level, used for church and performances of different sorts. It has very large windows and an incredible view. We look out over the Old City, Temple Mount and the Garden Gethsemane during the whole shebang, so occasionally I become distracted.
11 AM Sunday School. I am a primary teacher and teach the 8 and 9 year old boys. Although I easily weigh more than each of my students combined, I would fear being overpowered and destroyed each Sabbath if it weren't for my trusty co-teacher, Michael. Using an elaborate system of glares, compliments, push-up sessions, origami instruction, the Standard Works of the scriptures and yes--bribes of chocolate--we have obtained an uneasy peace. Did I mention there's only three of them?
12 PM Primary. Uneasy peace? Never mind. We tried, Father. We tried. Curse the six-fingered man.
1PM Home teaching, naps, scripture study, journals, and going to things like the Garden of Gethsemane or the Garden Tomb. I will go into the city but sometimes find it more useful to stay in the Center and consider the mysteries of life, such as
why it is taking so long to become--
4 PM, Dinnertime. If you were to ask any student the obvious significance of dinner becomes clear, for 'tis on the Sabbath we have house-made ice cream. Like, they make it in the kitchen or teleport it in from the Dimension of Delicious. Today was coconut ice cream. It was almost as good as the stuff Uncle Doyle makes--but
not quite. Alas.
7 PM-infinity Choir Practice Deja Vu--the time stretches on interminably as years come and go but we do not change. Perhaps Christmas songs could be used as an interesting way to induce stasis on long interstellar space voyages in the future. I'll have to get on that.
8 PM-- Once we have escaped the strange time-inconsistency loop presented by choir, (P.S. we're going to be nothing short of awesome for the upcoming Christmas concert), the men of the center convene on a weekly basis. Our meeting goes by many names: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the Jedi Council, Fight Club, the Gymnasium, the Council of Elrond, The Moonlighters, the Dead Poets Society---no one's ever come up with the perfect name, but we men gather and commiserate on such thorny topics as dating (gasp!) and whether it's acceptable to eat your roommate's pizza whilst he reposes in the bathroom. He abandoned it, right?
SUNDAY
Because the Jewish Sabbath is Saturday, we celebrate it on Saturday because doing it on Sunday just doesn't work here, and that's what was decided some time ago. Interesting side note, Friday is the Sabbath day in Jordan, keeping with the Muslim majority of things. I'll explain more about it sometime. Maybe.
Sunday is therefore the Saturday where we have all day to do cool things like homework. And also go into the city.
8 PM Concerts in the Auditorium--Renowned Israeli and international performance artists come and perform at the center. This has been a huge part of the Jerusalem center ever since it closed in 2004 with the advent of the Palestinian
intifada, or uprising. From the years of 2004-2007, it was maybe the one thing that kept the Center open for operation in the absence of students. I haven't been to each of them, but they are consistently good and very interesting.
So that's a week in the center. We are done with our Hebrew, Jewish Civ and Palestine classes now, leaving just a couple to allow us to focus on those classes and also on this amazing place. You can now tell your cat that it owes you a Bavarian cream donut. I had a bet with it. It said you'd never make it this far, but I thought otherwise and we made ourselves a little bet. Your persistence is to be rewarded. Don't take no for an answer! Good thing you didn't lose--I have no idea where you'd find that much catnip. Oregon, maybe. Now go look into some ways to regrow that luscious arm hair.